Her message to me read, ‘’We were only married for about two years when I learnt (caught him red-handed actually) about my husband’s extra marital affairs.
And I went berserk.
It was painful to discover that a man who should still be besotted with me was already peeping out.
I couldn’t handle the hurt and so I left his home.
He didn’t exactly make spirited efforts to bring me home. But after a while, our families intervened.
By the time I made up my mind to go back home, the other woman had already moved in.
And she was expecting his baby!
Thus began my journey of single motherhood.
Our twins were barely walking when I took them with me.
I have tried to pick up the pieces of my life. And I have been able to do that successfully with my career.
But my love life has been an entirely different story. I left my husband because he cheated on me but most of the men that one ended up with (out there) are equally taken!
Frankly, nothing beats ‘having your own man’ but I have emotional and physical needs.’’
Sisters, Our men don’t do well with women (divorcees, widows, single mothers,) with baggage.
They can have an affair with you-for as long as it can last but ‘taking you home to Mama’ is another kettle of fish.
Probably because (deep down), a lot of men have challenges embracing the presence of children that didn’t come from them.
Some men can but those are the ‘exceptional few’.
I am not sure men have such large hearts-as women, when it comes to embracing children that one didn’t sire biologically.
As wonderful as that married man is…he will always crawl back home.
And a lot of our young men are not experienced in handling women that are coming from an experience.
An affair is more like it for them but expecting anything more from them will be to your own disappointment.
The ones that could have handled things better…are mostly taken.
Don’t always be in a hurry to leave when your marriage is troubled.
You may not be rushing out to a better option!
Stay back in your home and make efforts for your marriage, except your life is threatened in anyway.
Even if you want to punish a wayward husband, do so from your home.
If you still want the marriage, that is.
Otherwise, having a man (you are still interested in) get used to your absence is a costly marital mistake.
Moving out can really dislocate one. And God help you, if you end up at the mercy of others.
A lot of women that hurried out of their marriage ended up groping for ‘love’, aimlessly.
I am not asking anybody to give a cheating husband a pat on the back.
I am advising women to learn to fight certain battles from their comfort zone.
Don’t dislocate yourself out of rage and end up at the mercy of men that are on the hunt for a ‘play thing’.
Friends and relatives won’t always understand…especially if you have become an economic burden.
If you must quit…plan well.
And quitting should only be because you want to create a better life for yourself.
Not necessarily to rush into the arms of a waiting Romeo.
There are no waiting Romeos out there!
A lot of the men you will meet out there are either taken or can’t deal with your kind of baggage…on long-term basis.
While some are those you can’t even deal.
Yes, life does offer a second chance but leaving a cheating husband, to end up in a relationship with a married man is (to me) an irony of life!